My sister doing a party drop in aj and it not loading for almost everybody 😬
FRIENDSHIP TEST RELEASE DATE!!!!!! . . . | . . .
WOOOO Friendship Test by Mar64ds on tumblr is coming out on Jan 5th!!!!
WOOO I am SO excited! It's a robot game about aromanticism, aplatonicism & lovelessness! Definitely check it out!
I might blog a let's play of the game on here once it comes out (a la Zarla's screencap adventures) :). I'm exited to learn about FriendProgram and Exe the most! :D
If you can't play it, Mar will post a playthrough on Friendship Test's youtube channel, although some secrets will be left out, so that there's stuff for players to discover. The overall story will be shown, though!
I hope lots of people play this game and keep it in our minds. Let's have a fun time everybody!
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Content Warning: talking about not eating
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Made some chicken soup yesterday that was honestly pretty bad since I didn't add any seasoning. But I bought some seasoning today and fixed it up.
And damn! I think I'm gonna eat pretty normally tomorrow, what with this being in conjunction with renewed pasta making abilities since I vought chicken powder and milk.
Also, yeah, I for sure have less of an appetite then I'm used to. But if I up my food intake I'll be able to get my hunger to more normal levels again! I was able to get myself to eat thrice in the latter hours of the day, amounting to two bowls of chicken soup (which is less soup amd more wet rice, actually. It was mostly rice).
Hell, maybe I'm on track to actually eating a normal amount bow that I'm beginning to make actual Foods. Meals.
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Content Warning: disordered eating
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Okay it's 6:10pm amd I d9n't think I've eaten all day 😬.
Okay enough of this STARVING thing I'm gonna eat more regularly tomorrow.
Agh… I should go out and buy stuff I'm willing to eat. I habe some money. Maybe go to that place with the bananas, if we get as much as last time then I can gorge myself on those. It'd probably be unpleasant since those bananas were not the newest + noone wants to be eating the same thing all day (also I might be allergic given that bananas burn my mouth, but that doesn't really bother me), but eh, it's for my health.
I wamt to go buy stuff for chicken soup. It's been a while since all of us have had a filling meal (not counting that big thing of spaghetti our mum made. But also I'm not sure if it was eaten that much?).
Mami's made some chicken temders so I'll go eat those, but the problem is that my siblings might want s9me, and nevermind we're only allowed 1 eaxh. I guess I'll make pasta after.
Going insane over a (kinda bad sometimes I mean even the creator themself doesn't like it—) show. Me and my siblimgs habe written up a whole DOC. WHAT THE HELL.
My sibling even managed to track down the creator who vanished ans we got to ask them what the story was gonna be (there are SO many godsamn mysteruws and questions we have. like what the HELL was going on).
Unfortunately the creator straight up didn't remember anything, but we were able to get confirmation about something which was obvious but still uncomfirmed, AND they mentioned a plot point which none of us were expecting?? Fascinating stuff! Can only imagine how that new character would've factored in! (I wanna know about herrrr).
So now I'm doing subtitles for one of the videos, since it was supposed to be viewed with english subs, and it'll be easier to analyse the lyrics if it's synced.
I wish I could purr.
Also wow I just realised it was halloween!!
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Content Warning: generally not taking care of the body (eating, drinking, sleeping, showering)
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She brought home some fries and chicken nuggets from this one cornerstore which is even BETTER and I got to eat with my siblings. It was nice even though it was not entirely pleasant (siblings were fighting).
I also drank something so that's good. I haven't been drinking much either. I was like "damn I showered but I don't even feel much better" like GIRL you still hadn't eaten or drank and you only had a sort of sleep for an hour tops. DUH you still don't feel too good.
So hopefully I will feel a bit better soon. In the meantime I'm gonna watch a video before going to sleep. I can't imagine 20-40 minutes will help that much, but it's still a generally bad idea to lay down directly after eating, so I'll try to delay it.
Later at night my mum's gonna drive me to this one shop (in order to show me the way), and we'll get ice and bananas for my sibling (who may or may not be coming).
Maybe I can clean a little bit too, afterwards. My sibling keeps messing up my room, so I really meed to clean it (no hate to him. He's like four.)
If it's too many bananas like last time (not sure if they came from the same place), then I'll try to share with the neighbours. I wanted to do that last time, but thought I'd be offputting since I hadn't showered in a while. But I've showered now! I could be social amd neighbourly!
Agh, okay, I'm tired. Video timeee! :D Jarvis Johnson bachelor(ette) here I come!
Oh holy crap wait it's halloween tomorrow?? POG that's so awesome!!!!
I have NOT been keeping track of dates, but I decided that around halloween, I'd like to watch those videos of those really impressive halloween costumes that literally JUST look like monsters. Full on you become a monster in the night. Those are AWESOME.
Guess I better hop to it! (Later, but soon)
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Content Warning: disordered eating
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I don't want to eat. I should though, it's 3:30pm and all I've had are two cups of coffee and bullis.
What would I eat tjough, pasta again? I'm getting s8ck of it.
Mami said she'd be coming back with mcdonalds, and I would want to eat that, even if it's n9t by much. So hey, there's that at least.
I mean hey on the bright side I've laundered my clothes. Washer and shower are broken (something's wrong with the plumbing, actually, so it affects more than that), so I've been putting off showering. Discovered I can actually shower, so instead of trying to go as long as I possibly can without showering, I'm just going long between showering. Not as long as possible.
Gonna shower today, but I gotta do laundry to do it. Sun sets quickly, so I've been too late in the day to do it previously (air drying outside)(I'd forget to do laundry until there was two hours of dayl8ght left 💀).
Can only do 15 minute laundry washes, lest water overflow everywhere. So I'm gonna wash twice (altjpugh I'm not aure how lomg I should wait before it's safe to wash again). But I did one cycle! I'll do anotjer once sufficient time has passed! And it's only 10:23am!
Actually, I might not be able to shower today. But hey, showering tomorrow is pretty good.
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Content Warning: disordered(?) eating (not sure if that applies to me but at the very least it is *influenced* by depression, which is a disorder)/unhealthy eating, psych hospital, food insecurity(? mention of there not being enough around), depression
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Finally got to the stage of not eating/eating little where I'm not able to eat as much as before 😬
Actually got to this stage a little while ago, actually. Very disconcerting actually having trouble eating the pasta I made, despite it being much less than I usually would prefer (I forgot why but for some reason I couldn't make more).
Man... I miss that I could eat large quantities quicker than people usually eat... I like that I'm apparently (according to my siblings) a fast eater...
(Well, large to me. I admittedly may have a skewed perspective. Fast at least.)
Which is funny 'cus sometimes I'd get so frustrated 'cus I felt like a VOID. Like I was eating so much and I was STILL hungry. In reality I was probably eating a normal (or less than normal) amount. But when there's not much food around in the first place... I really wanted to be sarisfied when I ate much more than usual.
Hnn. I've actually long since been able to eat less than other people. I just didn't notice it since there wasn't an opportunity to notice. But when I was in the psych ward, they'd give me three meals a day, and I found that it was overwhelming.
I didn't even eat everything they gave me (there were some things I c9uldn't bring myself to, so I was still hungry sometimes, but it wasn't bad.), byt I still got overwhelmed by the sheer frequency they brought meals.
Like what the heck... you want me to try eating AGAIN?... And try eating a wjole ass meal again...?!
The frustration may have been, in part, having to sort through what I could and couldn't eat again, but I think I was mostly very boggled that it was Meal Time again.
Hhg. Anyway. I've found myself eatimg much less than usual lately, and I"m able to eat less as well (I'm pretty sure. My desire to eat has also gone down. So it's not like I've been testing much. Looking at lots of food seems.. well. I just don't want it. I want to lie down forever.)5. Uh oh. Hopefully I will sort this out soon but. I can feel my depression getting worse <3.
Yellow eyes I love you too <3. Can't f9rget yellow eyes.
Yellow teeth I love you yellow teeth <3
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Content Warning: animal corpse + description of that corpse
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It seems the mummified gecko has been knocked from my windowsill to the plush, carpet floor below, presumably by my littlest sibling.
I kinda want to send a picture of it 'cus I think it looks cool, but I don't know how to censor images yet, and the internet's too patchy + it's too much effort atm to learn to do it.
I want to preserve it, but 1) How? Is it already preserved? It's pretty mummified, the skin essentially shrinkwraps the skeleton, so I can see the shape of the bones pretty well. And 2) How do I store it? 'Cus I sure as hell am not going to keep it loose on the dresser or something.
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Content Warning: shitty parent
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Not papi saying that baby's a manipulator for crying when mami took him inside after he ran out 😒.
Especially weird 'cus he himself thinks that baby's essentially been in a little prison all his life (accurate) (stuck indoors) (in a small, cluttered space, but I'm not sure papi knows/realises that part), but somehow doesn't understand that he'd be crying 'cus he's upset? I hate you.
It seems the hotspot that works is papi's, so I can only use the internet when he's here. Unfortunate.
While transportation is cheap, I don't have any money, so it's beyond me atm. And the nearest library is too far to walk. I'll walk around tomorrow, and maybe I'll find a park with free wifi or something. Here's hoping.
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Content Warning: spiders
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One of my siblings said we'd have to watch out for huntsmen spiders again. Horrifying realisation. She said as long as we keep the house clutter-free, we should be fine. I said that wouldn't necessarily prevent them from being inside, to which she said sure, but it'd be easy to spot them and keep track of them.
But I don't want to be in a room with them at all, even if I can see them!
They might not actually be here, though. The previous house in australia we were in was the only time we had encountered huntsmen. Before that, the only spiders I remember coming into contact with were daddy long legs and jumping spiders, which are both harmless, and two tarantulas. I've lived here for about 14 years! 2 tarantulas being the only "bad" spiders I'd faced up until that point is pretty good!
So perhaps there will be no huntsmen here. Hopefully not! Those things are fast and scary! And while they were not as numerous as daddy long legs, there were still plenty of them we encountered in that house!
But you know what they say. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. If I get jobseeker pay from centrelink, I should buy some preventitive bug spray or powder.
Last Seen Online by Lauren James comes out tomorrow!
WAKT QHWNKS8 HOLD ON!!! I was checking I got the author's name right and
IT'S ALREADY OUT????
JWVQKSICQNAJ Oh I've GOT to see if any of my libraries have it.
(P.S I finally returned an unrelated library book a few days ago so now everything's peachy-keen!)
Ahh My mountains poem! Bahiagrass poem! My Tea short story (which I did actually save before I got locked out of my school account, but I saved it on a USB which has since gone missing)! Noooo.
Wait. I have one last hope (not actually, my last hope is emailing my teachers). I keep having an "account action required" in reference to my school email. Perhaps... I can reclaim it... And go through all my notes and documents... Probably not, but I gotta try!
Edit:
GOD DAMMIT.
Okay I'll have to email them but I don't want tooo,,,,,. Hhhrg. Maybe later.
I want to join the tranzing the internet webring but I don't know what a widget is... I know SOME widgets, but I d9n't know which one specifically they're referring to...
I'll have to look it up later but also I don't WANT tooo,,,,,, But I do want to join that webring (and also webrings in general) so I guess I'll figure it out eventually.